Do you need to fire your coach?
When I was 15, standing at the top of a ski race course, my coach asked me, “How do you feel, kid?”
I lied.
“Great, coach.”
In reality, I was scared shitless. And like every other important race, I wiped out. Not because I didn’t know how to ski—I was one of the best in my region. But because no one had taught me how to manage my mind when it mattered most.
Decades later, while coaching coaches, I realized something:
My “coach” wasn’t a coach.
He was a trainer. He taught me how to ski. But he didn’t teach me how to believe in myself. He didn’t notice the shifts in my body language on race day vs. training days. He didn’t see the fear in my eyes.
That distinction stuck with me. And years later, I created what I now call the Technician – Trainer – Coach model.
→ The Technician stage is where we all start. It’s about learning proper technique, skills, biomechanics.
→ The Trainer takes that foundation and builds programming—smart reps, intelligent conditioning, confidence through repetition.
→ The Coach? They inspire performance. A true Coach understands the person standing in front of them. They see the subtle behavioral changes in their athlete. They read self-doubt, hesitation—created by mismanaged fear. They know when you’re stuck in your head.
A true Coach can help clear your fear and get your head back in the game.
A true coach is all about inspiring performance when it matters.
Remember, on game day, you can’t add more reps, build more strength, or change the battle plan. But most coaches focus on technique or strategy. And even when they ask if we’re ready or how we feel—like when I was 15—we lie. We look stoic. We say, “I got this.” And when mismanaged fear shows up and sabotages our performance… it gets chalked up as “good effort” and we’re told, “You’ll get it next time.”
Deep down, some of us know we didn't do our best because fear got in the way.
And since fear is so misunderstood, so vilified, most people would rather pretend they have no fear… than learn how to know fear.
So I hate to break it to you: most of our “coaches” are just really good trainers. The fear management piece is still a mystery to many.
Which means…
Most people don’t have a real coach in their corner. I didn’t.
I used one ski example here, but it was the same in wrestling, gymnastics, tennis, and martial arts. My coaches yelled, “You got this!” They were cheerleaders (no disrespect intended).
What I needed was someone to explain how to manage my fear—not just tell me to turn sooner or run faster.
And most of you reading this don’t have an ‘official’ coach either.
So what does that mean?
In life, you’re left with the default option: self-coaching.
Your self-talk? That’s your coach.
And whether you realize it or not, that voice is influencing every decision you make.
The real question is:
Do you know how to coach yourself?
Because the real Coach’s job is simple: improve performance.
So whether you’re a parent, a partner, a CEO, a teacher, a team leader—or just someone working to lead yourself—you’re always coaching someone.
Even if that someone is you.
And maybe it’s time to fire your current coach.
You know—the one inside your head.
I’ve always loved the Latin expression:
Qui docet, discit.
Those who teach, learn.
I challenge you to take on the responsibility of coaching.
To really understand the difference between training, teaching, giving instructions, offering encouragement, supporting someone—all of which are valid and necessary at times—but none of which are game day skills.
On game day, a real coach needs to recognize when someone is getting in their own way.
And that’s subtle.
Because coaching isn’t about telling someone what to do.
It’s about inspiring performance when it matters.
And your most important student?
That’s you.
– Coach B
Would you like to learn the TECHNICIAN + TRAINER + COACH system?
I can teach you this formula. It’s what I’ve spent my life learning, refining, and teaching.
If you’re serious about building a system for yourself, your family, your team, or your students, a system that helps inspire better performance under pressure, I can show you how. It’s all part of the BTS90 program.
Today at 4 PM PDT, I’m hosting a live Q&A where I’ll explain this program and how you can get involved this summer.
BTS90 is a program I designed to teach you how to inject my tactical snacks, situational awareness skills, and—most importantly—how to manage fear through my KNOW FEAR® system. The Technician – Trainer – Coach model is one of the core principles inside the program.
If you’d like to join me, click here.
Hope to see you later today.
