EVERY PICTURE TELLS A STORY

In 2009, my family experienced a violent confrontation.

It changed many things in our lives.

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“So remember, every picture tells a story, don’t it?”
- Rod Stewart 

Del Mar, Ca. 2010.

This picture captures so much...

My family had just experienced a home invasion.

Within days of this, an employee made a deal behind my back that forced me to close the company I had spent decades building. It was chaos. 

Then a group of trainers, who thought I was finished, thought I wouldn't survive this, made a midnight move. Instead of standing by me, as I had done for them over the years, they opened competing companies using my IP and contacts.

It was insane.

It was also a time of massive fear.

The fear I had was that of a man, of a provider, feeling emasculated.

• I was embarrassed I had let this happen.

• I was embarrassed at how helpless I felt.

• I was embarrassed that I might lose everything.

It felt like we were in some psychodrama movie: a home invasion at gunpoint, police, helicopters, detectives...then the lawyers and dissolving the company! The fights for my IP and brands. The betrayal of several employees I had mentored and trusted.

All of these events happened within days of each other.

I went from owning a company with a dozen employees and earning 12M a year on Friday, to no company/no revenue on Monday.

That fast.

It was surreal.

Our house was now haunted - messed up from the scum who rifled through our possessions. There were still footprints and scuff marks from the SWAT team that had cleared it after the 9-11 call my son, Nicky, made. He was 16 at the time and that quick thinking likely saved their lives as these assholes weren't wearing masks - not a great sign during a home invasion. The police arrived within minutes, sirens blaring.

I knew I needed to get my family out of here.

My wife, Jesse, was sitting on our bedroom floor, tears running down her cheeks as she looked up and asked me what we were going to do.

I paused, smiled, and said, “We’re moving to California - if we’re going to be homeless, let’s be homeless in California. I hear the weather is perfect.”

She started to laugh-cry.

So did I.

“You’re serious?” She asked. And I said, “Book tickets, let’s go.”

The photo above is of her on the beach taken shortly after we arrived.

We had just spent 2 days looking at 17 homes. (The realtor wanted to kill us.)

While looking at houses, Jess says to me, “As long as we’re together, we’re fine. I don’t need a house, we can live in a small apartment, start over. We don’t need a house, as long as we’re together.”

I looked at her and said, “Even though you all know what happened, and I can’t ever change that - you’re going to continue to live as though nothing happened. I didn’t catch this - therefore it’s my fault, my problem. If I can help it, this will not impact you and the kids.”

And we got back to work.

That was 12 years ago.

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I share this story because I want you to get to know another side of my story. I want you to understand why I work so hard. Why I work so hard on improving how we all manage violence.

Self-defense isn’t always about a confrontation with someone else.

The first and most important fight is winning the one inside your head.

When I look at the picture above, I see fear & courage. They are always connected. There is no courage without fear.

Sometimes we need to be reminded why we fight.

My wife and my kids are my “why”.

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The home invasion is not something I talk about often. A small part of it comes up in my live KNOW FEAR® seminars. But it's not something I bring up publicly (unless it's relevant to some training we're doing) and I don't bring it up on podcasts. However, the hosts of this show reached out to me personally to discuss their experience with a home invasion, not even knowing about ours.

I invited my wife, Jesse Blauer, on the call to share the story.

*Part of me is apprehensive to share this. It's very personal, but it's equally cathartic to talk about it and it quite possibly has the potential to help educate someone who listens to the podcast.

I hope our story inspires you on many levels.

As always, the team and I are here to support you, we offer so many training options (I’ve listed a few below).

Stay safe,

Coach B

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DON’T OUTSOURCE YOUR SAFETY!

About "outsourcing safety", during our conversation, I shared the comment Jack Donovan made to me during another talk after I said to Jack, "You're the first-responder in your confrontation." He eloquently stated, "People can't outsource their safety." 

Jack, it's a great line, I use it all the time and I tell people who inspired it! 👍🙏

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