I Took Failure Personally— How It Changed Everything

#Truth

Every month for the last 30 years, I’ve gotten emails from people saying, “I want to do what you do—travel the world and teach cops, military, or (fill in the blank).”

And then they ask, “How do I get started? Can you share an outline? How did you _____”. And so on.

When I take the time to reply—sharing advice from decades of experience—most never follow through and many never even thank me for replying.

Why? Because they thought the answer was simple.

People want instant answers but forget that true success requires work, commitment, and tactical patience.

Everyone loves the idea of the “overnight sensation.” But in reality, success requires the grind—and for me it’s been 40 years of showing up, building relationships, refining ideas, and failing forward.

For those looking for a blueprint for a fast track, you’re already asking the wrong question.

Success isn’t something you’re handed—it’s something you earn, day by day, rep by rep.

It’s always the reps no one sees.

Few understand the grind.

They see the Instagram posts—but not what goes on behind the scenes. They don’t see the fear, doubt, refocus, and conviction.

They don’t see the months of testing and tweaking drills, wondering if they’ll work in real life.

They don’t see the sleepless nights before a big seminar trip, wondering if anyone will show up.

They don’t see my chipped teeth, broken noses, busted ribs…

They sure don’t see the business side of the struggle:

• Burning through nights experimenting with drills, then getting back up at 4 a.m. to catch a flight.

• Walking into a class jet-lagged—but delivering 110% anyway.

• Dealing with running and growing a business—while staying true to the mission of making people safer.

Sounds like I’m bitching, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Over the last 31 years, (which is when I closed my school to focus on seminars) I’ve literally traveled the world because of my love for martial arts and self-defense.

My obsession with helping others brought me to the front of the class, where I’ve shared our research and system with the highest-level military and law enforcement organizations, professional fighters, coaches, entrepreneurs, corporate executives, and even moms and dads.

It’s amazing to see what the system has grown into—all because I took it very personally when one of my first students lost a fight.

This kid trusted me to teach him, and I felt like I let him down. When I analyzed what happened the problem was the way self-defense was being taught—conventional methods didn’t account for pre-fight fear or the unpredictable chaos of sudden violence.

That moment rewired everything for me. It led to the creation of drills like PANIC ATTACK, research into fear and human behavior, and eventually all that gave birth to the SPEAR System®, High Gear®, KNOW FEAR®, the Cycle of Behavior® and more.

Anyhow… what a journey it’s been.

There’s a good chance that if you are still reading this you teach self-defense, defensive tactics, combatives, or some martial art or maybe, deep down inside, you’d love to run a small class on the weekend as a way to make your community safer and keep yourself in shape.

So let me ask you this:

How would adding the SPEAR System®, the Evidence-Based Scenario Trainer® Program, and the KNOW FEAR® Program elevate your martial arts school, self-defense training, or your role in your community?

Imagine how these tools could transform your students’ confidence, their safety, and their ability to navigate the chaos of life.

For decades, I’ve studied and developed ways to teach self-defense to every demographic imaginable—creating a system rooted in neuroscience, psychology, and kinesiology. I’ve spent years earning the reputation and refining the methodology that now makes this training world-class.

If you’re ready to turn MY decades of research into actionable tools YOU can use today, start your journey by exploring our trainer certifications.

Take my 40 years, and let me help you turn decades to days.

Fear isn’t the enemy—it’s the energy.

Let’s use it. Let’s channel it. Let’s make the world safer together. Click here to learn more.

Coach B

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